Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Day 19 - 6:30 AM

I can’t believe I am on day 19 and that I have made it this far. Two more days and I get to go home. My friend Simone is picking me up on Saturday around 10 AM.

Yesterday was a tough day to say the least. I feel a bit more calm this morning but am still confused about the progesterone cream. I just don’t know what to do. I wish I had some clarity. I did not use any at all yesterday. This morning I am back to very slight bloating and some fluid retention.

Bob and I are reading in Proverbs right now – the chapter that corresponds with the current day’s date. Here are the verses that stood out to me in yesterday’s and today’s reading:

Proverbs 3:7-8
“…simply obey the Lord and refuse to do wrong. If you do, it will be like good medicine, healing your wounds and easing your pain.”

Proverbs 4:23
“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.”

The latter is the one that speaks to me the most. When you are dealing with health issues it’s easy to get your thoughts caught up in all that is wrong. But this creates a vicious cycle and a self-fulfilling prophecy. Getting out of this negative thinking takes effort, but it seems to be the message coming into my life from different directions.

It’s also hard not to look at days like yesterday as a setback or even failure, but I need to look at “failures” differently. I read that it took Thomas Edison more than 11,000 experiments before he discovered the carbon-impregnated filament that led to the production of the first electric light bulb. After 5,000 tries a journalist asked him why he kept persisting after so many failures. He supposedly replied, “Young man, you don’t understand how the world works. I have not failed at all. I have successfully identified 5,000 ways that it will not work. That just puts me 5,000 ways closer to the way it will.” That’s a much better way of looking at things.

Not much going on today – just a foot bath and a colonic. I need to iron the clothes I washed yesterday and I am going to read, watch TV, and knit. The usual.

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