still going

I am chewing and spitting again. I was walking around the store earlier telling myself not to do it, not to buy anything that I could even use but then I did anyhow. I am in that dark place today that I can't seem to get out of. The only emotion I can muster is anger. I can't even feel any empathy or sadness for the earthquake victims in Haiti or their families. I don't WANT to be this way but I can't seem to change it. And it's not because my clothes are tighter. They were tight yesterday but I was in a GREAT mood. I want to stop!