What would have been GAPS Intro Day 28

I finally figured out why my tachy issues came back. The day I started back on GAPS Intro (4/25) I went to donate blood. Later that day is when my heart was racing like crazy. It took me two weeks to realize that I was dealing with low blood volume due to the donation. Long story short, I even went to the ER one day and now I seem to be anemic. Well, I was that day but have been eating beef liver like crazy since then. I was retested last Wednesday and hope to have the results tomorrow. My sodium was also below normal and potassium was low normal. I eventually asked Dr. Cowan for some SR potassium which he actually prescribed. I am still not back to where I was, but it's better now. What a setback.

Because of all this GAPS intro really has not been going well at all and I sort of fell off the wagon Thursday night. We went to the new Brazilian restaurant in town and I decided to have a glass of wine. I had a big buzz from that one glass, despite all the food I ate, and on the way home chewed a piece of gum. At home I had dairy kefir that I had made from regular, store bought heavy cream and I put some Splenda in it. Not the end of the world and it's not like I ate a whole cheesecake, but considering the state of my health, digestive and overall, that really wasn't a smart thing to do. I am still sort of dealing with the reaction from dairy.

Of course now I am toying with the idea of starting over AGAIN. It's the perfectionism driving me to "do it right". I am even considering going off most of my supplements, including the progesterone cream and testosterone cream I had added back in, and starting from scratch adding one thing at a time. That would really be the biggest change and going back to eating boiled meats which I am not looking forward to. The other consideration is to use fermented veggie brine only - no commercial probees. I stopped the Custom Probiotics and the Berberine supplement about 3 days ago and I feel better. Not only am I having daily BMs, but I don't wake up with pain and a stiff body every day. I really wish I could figure out why I am reacting so strongly to beneficial bacteria.

All of this has put me in sort of a depressive mood. I am getting to the point where it's hard to see the end of the tunnel or where I believe that there is someone out there who can figure this out. I put a lot of hope into doing GAPS intro again, but that hope is slowly fading as well. If I can't increase beneficial bacteria then I am not really doing GAPS. So where does that leave me?

I still think that the strep and scarlet fever incident last year caused some kind of lasting problem - but how and why? That is what I want to discuss with Dr. Cowan tomorrow. I am tired of him ignoring the fact that I have not gotten better since then. There HAS to be some significance to it.

Today marks 915 days (or roughly 30 months or roughly 2.5 years) with a distended, uncomfortable abdomen as well as a host of other symptoms that have not improved. I feel overwhelmed, disappointed, scared, and don't know where to go from here. Spending one more day feeling the way I feel seems unbearable. Needless to say my ED issues are rampant right now. It's the only way I feel I can cope. I pray, I ask God for guidance, I ask Him for comfort but I feel nothing and I hear nothing. It's very discouraging...

Back to starting over....I will probably go back on proper GAPS Intro but will have to wait a while. Rachel, our former neighbor from Austin who is like a grandmother to us, is not doing so well. I am hoping to go see her next week and I won't even attempt to make broth there or take broth with me. I will just eat GAPS legal food and won't worry about the rest. This time I also plan on going to The Saltlick, my fav BBQ restaurant, while I am there. Last time I went to Austin I chose not to go and then regretted it. Soooooo.....it looks like I will be re-starting GAPS Intro June 1 which is perfect because Bob goes to LA for 7 days on June 2nd. Now if I could just wean off coffee by then that would be great. I have read for the third time now that coffee can mimic the gluten protein and if you are gluten intolerant you could react to coffee. UGH! I tried reducing a few days ago and the depression got even worse. I need to find something to replace the coffee with. Unfortunately green and black teas make me feel nauseated on an empty stomach (and stain my teeth horribly) and I don't eat anything in the morning. Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and go off cold turkey the same time I go back on intro. Sound like suicide? I think it does!!!